Wednesday, October 8, 2014

this day

I logged in to write this
and noticed that this is the
1000th post I've done.
Hard to believe.
Not all are published here.
Some are too raw, too personal to share.
Just yet.
Maybe one day.
I'm getting there.
 This one hurts but here goes.
You know how some dates in your life
are permanently etched into your memory?
This is one of those days for me.
Many moons ago,
I think I've mentioned it before,
forgive me if you've already heard this story,
when I was a little girl,
still in the single digits.
My family and I were out of town for a family reunion.
My mom was pregnant with her youngest child.
Heavily pregnant.
We were packing up the car, about to head to the reunion.
I remember sitting in the back of the station wagon
with one of my older sisters,
waiting for my parents who were checking to make sure
we grabbed everything out of the motel room.
The next thing I remember is my oldest sister in tears.
I think she was the one who told us.
I don't remember the words exactly.
I only remember the look of sheer panic on my parents faces.
I remember giggling because my dad was driving so fast.
 Looking back there was nothing funny about that day.
But I was still a little.
I didn't realize how our life had just changed with one phone call.

I remember going around the last curve
 on the long winding street where I grew up.
My dad didn't slow down.
We got to the house.
It was still smoldering.
I didn't realize at the time
but because there were pieces of walls still standing
the insurance company really screwed my parents over.
The walls that were charbroiled surrounding the ashy contents.
They were financially devastated by this loss.
Devastated in general really.
My mom was seven months pregnant.
I can't even imagine.
I could go on about this time in our family's life
but its still painful to think about.
My eyes still fill up with tears
when I hear a fire truck go by.
Still, to this day.
For a long time,
a very long time,
approaching this day every year
was extremely sad, the heart heavy kind.
My sisters and I would call and give the calculation.
As if any of us could forget.
"Remember x number of years ago?"
This was the day our house burnt down."
I was probably the leader of the countdown.
Until this day ten years ago.
When this happened...

 
our first babies were finally back together
after a month separated in the NICU.
They were together again
Ours to take home.
Every since that day,
ten years ago,
this day has been a happy day.
That moment above is what I now celebrate.
What once held a somber memory became a new beginning.
My clock restarted.
A new countdown began.
My calculation of when true happiness began.
 

 
 


9 comments :

  1. What a beautiful gift of something full of hope to replace the tragic loss. Good for you for recognizing the goodness that was given to you!

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    Replies
    1. thank you, as always, for your sweet comment. btw...I hope your son is feeling good. my son has recovered from his sinus surgery and is breathing clearly for the first time in years.

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  2. So glad you have a happy occasion to remember the day! The twins are soo cute.

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    Replies
    1. thanks Katie :) I remember I gasped when I walked into the NICU that morning and the nurses had put them together. talk about a heart melting moment. hope your new puppy is doing well :)

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  3. God has a way of replacing the hurt with joy. Sometimes we just have to wait for it. The twins are so precious.

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    Replies
    1. I completely agree. I think He leads you through rough times in order to learn and grow, but also so that you learn to enjoy the good and all His blessings.
      Safe travels to Texas this weekend!

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  4. How wonderful to have such as sad memory replaced with one of the best! That is an adorable picture...so sweet. Whenever I see baby pictures of twins I think of my grandmother. She gave birth to my mother and my aunt at home during the war in Germany. She did not even know she was having twins! Can you imagine?! And your mother losing everything while pregnant and with little ones too. AND you having your babies in the NICU. Such strong women!!

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    Replies
    1. Your grandmother ROCKS! I cannot even begin to fathom being surprised with twins at birth. at home. during a war. WOW! Hero is a good word for her.

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  5. Oh my gosh...I have tears in my eyes..but I'm so glad the memory was replaced with a beautiful one.

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